Category: learning

Developing Kids to be Young Leaders

momblogger
Jul 3 |04:57

Is it important to harness the leadership skills of a child at a very young age? This question struck me as an appropriate one when my son, aged 7, asked me “Mama, our section is having an election and I’m afraid they would elect me to be one of the class officers. What do class officers do? Should I become one?”

My mentor, a child development psychology expert, has always emphasized the importance of responding (correctly) to what she refers to as “teachable moments” for parents and their kids. According to Steven Carr, one of the most important skills we should nurture as parents is the ability to recognize and capitalize on “teachable moments” in everyday life.

Said moments can happen almost anywhere and anytime with your kid. I experienced being caught unguarded by my son (a lot of times) with his confused questions about the world around him and life in general. Sometimes, I did well; sometimes, I was unable to respond at all which made me feel very depressed that I again allowed the opportunity of a ‘teachable moment’ passed.

Carr said that “chances are, many of the valuable moral lessons that we learned from our parents as a child were not consciously taught at all. They were rather learned in the midst of casual moments of real life, just as our children’s real lessons come from being, living and interacting with us in a hundred different ways we could never predict in advance.” The gravity of teaching our children the truths about life and their ‘person’ lies on our hands and as much as we can, we should be prepared about handling correctly our kids‘ teachable moments so we can assist them in understanding better humanity and not add to their confusion.

Remembering all these about the importance of seizing one of my son’s teachable moments, I explained to him the roles class officers play in the school. More questions were fired up and we had a wonderful, productive discussion. What we emphasized to him was he should be grateful that he is being looked upon by his classmates and teachers as one of the most responsible students in the class if ever he gets elected. When he came home from school the next day, he pronounced he was voted as the class’ public relations officer (P.R.O.).

It was our turn to congratulate our son for a job well done. He is a young leader and I can see that in him. He is active, vocal and a quick-thinker, a born leader I would say. It is our task as parents to properly nurture his leadership qualities to help him grow it into full bloom. Being a youth leader myself, I know how my leadership qualities helped me achieved my career goals and even in playing successfully my roles as a parent, a family member, and as a community player.

After establishing the importance of developing leadership in our children, the next question would be “how do we develop then our kids’ leadership skills?” Here is a leadership guide for kids which ideas I initially picked up from leadership-tools.com:

1. Teach them the “golden rule” — do unto others as you would have them do unto you. As a trainer and educator, it has always been in my rule book to always teach my students and participants the virtue of appreciation and respect for others. Our kids must understand that every person is unique, grow up in different environments, and experience varied circumstances in life. That he/she must learn to see ‘where others are coming from’ so they would learn to understand and accept people for who they are.
2. Teach them the importance of effective communication. Among a leader’s vital skills is his ability to clearly and effectively communicate his ideas. It is critical for us parents to develop this skill by encouraging an environment of openness of expression in our homes. At the same time, we should always stress to our children that effective communication requires listening skills. That to become effective communicator, they should learn to respect others when they are talking and sharing.
3. Teach them the virtue of teamwork and collaboration. A leader is a follower; a leader is a team player. Our kids must understand that leadership requires them to learn how to work in a team and get others motivated to work with them. This is an important social skill that may be taught first at home by having your kids share some simple household chores or by setting up activities which the whole family would engage in.
4. Teach them the importance of a ‘win-win’ situation. Kids must learn the virtue of negotiation and compromise or put simply, the art of ‘give and take’ to accomplish a task. For instance, at home, ask them to give up something in return of gaining something they wanted more. It is important that kids understand these two important lessons: that they cannot always get what they want; and that others have something to say too.
5. Teach them the skills of planning and strategizing. It is important to cultivate a child’s critical thinking skills. We should teach them to think carefully and weigh possible outcomes of their decisions and actions. We should also motivate them to not give up easily on a task at hand. By simple exercises such as asking them to list down their steps on how to get a better grade on Math or how to maintain a clean bedroom, you are already teaching him/her how to plan or strategize towards a desired outcome.
6. Motivate your child to be visionary. Help him better visualize through reading and listening to the tales of past achievers. From time to time, ask them about their goals and their ideas on how to achieve them. Do not discourage them or put down their ideas, recommend improvement instead.
7. Make them recognize and internalize the virtues of persistence and determination. Provide your child with a strong foundation of personal pride. As parents, our natural tendency is to be too protective, we immediately run over and shield our children from anything that may pose danger or inconvenience to them. Unknowingly, such mothering nature also makes our children feeble from pain and challenges. What we should teach them is how to stand up for themselves and finish what they have started so they would feel a sense of price and ownership for anything they would accomplish.

Like this article? Any ideas on developing children’s leadership skills you may want to share with us? Please use the comment section below sending us a message through the contact form or our email at newmoms101 (at) yahoo (dot) com.

 

Developing Children’s Creativity through Arts and Crafts Activities

momblogger
Jun 30 |15:00

How do we gauge creativity in our children? Creativity is not simply your child’s ability or inability to draw stunning images or to put together an artwork. Creativity is a person’s ability to generate or recognize ideas, alternatives or possibilities which he/she uses in resolving problems, in communicating with others, and entertaining ourselves and others.*

While many would relate creativity to a person’s ability to create beauty out of nothing or a mess, it seems a good start to develop a children’s creativity to eventually develop his/her sense of resourcefulness and innovativeness. The question is how.

For children, probably the best motivation towards bringing them to developing their creative skills is to engage them in arts and crafts activities such as painting and drawing, scrapbooking, dancing, acting, singing, and learning different musical instruments. Such activities stimulate our offspring’s artistic talents and self-expression. It also helps them understand and seek answers to their questions about life and the world around them.

What’s the parent’s job in making this happen? A lot actually. It’s our role to facilitate learning in our children so they would gain knowledge of the skills or lessons the right way while bringing closeness to mom-child relationship. We should be the one to identify which activities our children may participate in based on what our children find fun and interesting. As parents also, we are familiar about the potentials of our kids, in what area they may seem to be good at.

After identification, we should make time to accompany them in taking part in said activities. In turn, your child would feel important and he/she would have someone important to share his thoughts, experiences and feelings with. Tip: take this opportunity to observe and learn about your child’s unique mind.

I remember my son started drawing people figure in preschool. His first creations were gruesome – frightening creatures with alien-like features. I shrieked when I saw them felt bad that I did. I know it should not be my reaction, my son was hurt. When I got my composure back, I talked to him sincerely and told him the figures were not good but I would teach him how to make it better. I patiently taught him how to draw stick figures of people for his drawings which he learned quickly.

Some weeks ago, I got an invite for a kids’ art drawing contest sponsored by the distributor of a popular educational toy brand in the US. I asked my son if he wanted to participate and when he said he does, I cancelled my appointment for the date of the contest, and brought him there. It was an instant bonding day for us — he enjoyed the art activities, excelled in the competition and actually won first place! I was one proud momma!

Here are other ways to encourage your child’s creativity:

  • Buy them Interactive learning resources (books or videos) which teach children different arts and crafts activities. Read or watch these first so you can prepare the required supplies and materials your child would need in the process.
  • Instead of giving your kids just toys, invest on educational toys such as puzzles and board games.
  • Facilitate creativity exercises and games for your child; get help from the internet in browsing for such activities.
  • Enlist him/her to summer art workshops which would not only develop his creativity but also his social skills by meeting and interacting with new people.
  • Support your child’s inclination on arts by providing  instruments/materials he/she needs to express her creativity and by scouting for groups (academic or non-academic) or activities he/she can engage in.

Though it may sound expensive to prop up your child’s creativity, it actually needs some mommy ‘creativity’ to think of alternatives instead of buying expensive art materials for your kids or enrolling them to costly workshops. For instance, instead of buying the learning materials or educational toys in regular prices, find out when publishing houses, bookstores, and manufacturers, hold ‘sales.’ Tune-in also to community art workshops sponsored by foundations or organizations wishing to help children in the locality, these events are either conducted free or with minimal registration fee.

Any ideas on developing children’s creativity you wanted to share with us? Please use the comment section below or by sending us a message through the contact form or our email at newmoms101 (at) yahoo (dot) com.

*Human Motivation by Robert E. Franken
(photo from www.directsellingnotebook.com)

 

Moms’ Need for Relearning and Unlearning

momblogger
Jun 28 |12:48

A fact that everyone seem to know and recognize is the parents ‘need for learning’ as they play their roles in their children’s life. However, these two skills are required for the learning process to fully materialize: relearning and unlearning.

Said skills allow us to quickly adapt to our environment which in many instances, I found to be valuable in playing my character as a mom. As the futurist and writer, Alvin Toffler, said: “The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn.”

While we were oriented (willingly or unwillingly) by the school and by our own parents about the gravity of responsibilities of becoming parents, such preparation is insufficient to what we will actually experience as moms. Love surprises? You will have a lot of them on the child-rearing journey.

How do we unlearn? Let me remind you that unlearning is not easy. While growing up, we receive different teachings — formally and informally – from the school, from the family, from the community, and even from our own experiences. These teachings (which we either deny or accept) form our values, principles, and beliefs.

Our natural tendency is to hold on and fight for what we believe in as in my father’s case. We call him the traditional father who believed in corporal punishment and strict disciplining. He wasn’t the type who would show affection to his kids, physically or verbally,   because it would make him look soft. No one is allowed to break his rules, follow or consequences will be severe.  In some instances in the past, I and my other siblings tried arguing and rebelling but nothing cracked his austerity.  Our mom, the soft-hearted one, always meddles in these occurrences and would request us to just understand our Dad. My dad passed away not being able to unlearn his disciplinarian values and stern stands about parenting issues. It made me sad I was only able to tell him “I love you” when he was dying. We never had the chance to open up our feelings towards each other.

How to unlearn and relearn? According to Marcia Conner, the secret to learning new things is ‘to be willing to unlearn–even if your behaviors previously brought success.’ She’s right, everything starts with willingness. As for me, my motivation in unlearning is my being a mom whose purpose is to cater to my son’s needs for affection, guidance and love. I can only do this if I am ready to unlearn.

To illustrate this, here’s my experience. Since I was raised by traditional and old-fashioned parents, it is natural that I have adapted their parenting styles. I was the superior mom. My words are authority that my son should obey and I made him think it should be that way.  In one of our discussions, my son blurted “you say you are always right but what if I’m right too?” I was startled and at loss for words, I looked at his innocent face and saw that there were already tears about to roll down from his eyes, I just hugged him and that night, I reflected. My son maybe young but just like everyone else, his words should be heard and respected. He’s starting to form his ideals and unknowingly, I am providing a bad example.

After unlearning, I was ready to relearn. This time, I regarded my mother’s affectionate nature. She was a good listener and though she instills discipline, she was never judgmental of her kids. Pondering about her and my child’s argument, I relearned to put compassion and objectivity in my mothering style. This improved my relationship with my son. Try the process of unlearning and relearning too by following these steps:

  • Ask yourself what you need to unlearn in terms of being a mother. List down everything you can think of.
  • Prioritize. See which ones are critical and are causing a rift between you and your kid(s).
  • Create a list of approaches you can undergo to make the process happen.

If ever you try to do this exercise, please write us about it. We would love to hear how the process went and its results in developing your relationship with your kid(s).   Like this article? Consider subscribing. We’ll be happy to hear your thoughts and reactions on this post by giving us a feedback through the comment section or by sending us a message through the contact form.