“There comes a time when a woman needs to stop thinking about her looks and focus her energies on raising her children. This time comes at the moment of conception. A child needs a role model, not a supermodel.” Astrid Alauda, on the “hot mom” trend
Once a woman decides on becoming a parent, she must be ready to become a ‘new person.’ Singlehood is far different from Mommyhood because of the roles and responsibilities a mother is expected to play and get done. A woman becomes selfless, a ‘person for others,’ once she decided on rearing a child.
One of the hardest tasks of a mom is teaching, educating, and guiding her kid(s). Every child is unique and is born with varied attitudes, behaviors, and mental facility. For this reason, a mother can’t simply apply a mothering technique which benefited another mom. However, one general approach I believe, tried, and observed working for other moms as well, as valuable is ‘modeling proper behavior’ in teaching children.
I always say that it’s easier to teach kids than adults because they are like sponges who soak everything they hear and see unlike adults who tend to refuse unlearning what they have already grown with. In teaching kids however, always be reminded that these little darlings may be young but they are very intelligent and may use your words and actions against you when you fail to lead by example. Walking your talk is hundred-fold effective than continuously reminding them of proper behavior and attitude.
When I became a mom, I realized that unknowingly, some of my values in parenting actually came from my mother. She never taught me those; she simply made me see them. She was the kind who would sacrifice everything for her children. I came from a poor family and there were many instances in the past where our supply of food was limited and my mom would always give her share to us. She was also the hands-on-mom, a responsible homemaker, but whenever she can, she would always help my father in raising funds for the family. The virtues of diligence and unselfishness are among the qualities I adapted from my mother as a result of her modeling.
On the other hand, a friend of mine mothering three male teens is having problems on imposing discipline with them. For instance, when she reprimanded them for having vices such as drinking and smoking, they retorted that she also drinks and smokes. I was put in the same scenario when I scolded my son for lying. He simply responded: “You and Papa also lie. Remember, you said we will go to McDonalds yesterday, we didn’t.”
Another sad story of modeling bad behavior in children is this boy who grew up watching his father beat his mother. The father would even tell his son that men are superior than women. The boy is married to a friend, a wife beater, and a loud mouth.
No matter how much we blabber about good behaviors if we are showing otherwise, our words will be futile. If we want them to grow up as a person of character, we must act like one. Here are some ways of modeling good behavior to our children:
- Teach them not to lie by keeping your promises and standing by your words.
- Teach them how to respect people by using respectful tones and words when you converse with others especially the elderly.
- Teach them the virtue of handwork by exposing them to your workplace and your ways of accomplishing your daily tasks.
- Teach them the value of family by showing love and respect for your family members.
- Teach them how to be god-fearing by sharing religious activities with them like praying, reading stories from the bible, and going to church.Photo by RUN 4 FFWPU from Pexels
Like this article? Do you have any ideas or stories on modeling behavior for children you may want to share with us? Please use the comment section below sending us a message through the contact form or our email at support (at) newmoms101 (dot) com.